Sunday, June 24, 2007

A story of me, myself and my'melayu'team...

Believed it or not...?! I woke-up at 4.50am to pee, but..when I tried to close my eyes back, only my right eye could close left eye didn't want to close...shit! I felt like the Prime Minister of the Islam Hadhari Land who is said to not be able to sleep because he is supposedly thinking of a way to change this secular based nation into a pure islamic country...ark!But...there are also romours of a south east asian PM who just married who always sleeps even at important meetings...recently I heard the he sleeps on the road, true or not?I don't know! But for sure, like me...maybe that PM, wakes-up as early 4.50am to think of unfinished matters of his country...who knows?! As a solution and also out of bad habit, I smoke my 'peter'. then on my laptop and try to type something!But...what do I want to write?Yesss...last evening I read two posting of Dr. Clark Gable of Pulau Duyung about bloggers defination and my friend's blog, her post quit cool and the title was a story of leaf, tree and wind.... I'm sorry dear, Im plagiarizing your title, but don't worry I'll change it a lot! I am very sure there will great result if I colaborates thats two stories. So, there is good benefit if we love to read, at least my brain will not be dried out of knowlegde and most importantly my brain will not lack in ideas! Remembered someone's top post said "aku kena berfikir...berfikir...dan terus berfikir dan tak salah sambil-sambil itu, aku berzikir!".

Yes...without thinking long...I forced myself to name my post "A Story of Me, Myself and MY-melayu-Team...". Thats a big difference between mine and her post title. For sure, I will make this content cooler than her's. Ok...lets talk about my post, Yess...I want to write about M.E.L.A.Y.U and for sure I, myself was 'melayu'...What a shame of me to write something about Globalisation or world matters when at the same time, I still havent writen anything about me as a 'melayu'. Hey...nothing wrong with the title...? My mother is 'Melayu', My late father was 'Melayu', My brothers are 'Melayu', My Sister is 'Melayu', my sister and brother in law are also 'Melayu' and the all 7 my nephews and nieces are 'melayu' too. The most important thing is, I myself am a 'Melayu'! Enough?! No...I still have some more reasons to this title. In my independant country Malaysia which will be celebrating 50 years of its Independence that 'Melayu' said "MERDEKA", there was more than 65% of 'Melayu' in that land. Furthermore, there were a lot of associations or clubs or whatever we call it, were built in the name of 'Melayu'. The top one is called United Malay Nation Organisation which have more than 3.3million registered members including me. bahasa I can say that "Melayu ini, macam-macam ada..." Read something cool that I qoute from Uncle Syed Hussien's journal;

"Tiba-tiba saya teringat satu dari sifat orang Melayu. Kalau mereka suka pada seseorang, mereka tidak memuji orang tersebut di depan. Begitulah juga kalau mereka tidak suka, mereka tidak akan menunjukkan sifat marah dan tidak senang mereka secara terbuka. Pelik, mereka yang mengaku sahabat, mengaku saudara Islam tapi tidak segan silu mengkritik, mengata, menfitnah, mengadu dumba orang yang mereka tidak suka di belakang. Untuk apa ‘telunjuk lurus kelingking berkait’, ‘pukul anak sindir menantu’. Yang ada diatas ditarik macam ketam dalam bakul, yang di bawah dilanyak, dipijak, dipukul beramai-ramai..."

To the 'Melayu' who are still dreaming by showing the 'keris' and and receiving RM50 tip offs to shout out "Hidup Melayu" did you know that there were two theories to define 'MELAYU' ? Have you ever heared about the defination of 'MELAYU' based on Yunan Theories which tells us about Orang Negrito, Melayu Proto and Melayu Deutro...?Or the defination of 'MELAYU' based on Nusantara Theories by Sutan Kadir Alisjahbana...? Ahhh...just forgot?!Hmm..its ok! question, are you guys familiar with the person who is named Usman Awang? Ok...fine, you guys know him...Congrat! Lets read these two phases below :

"Melayu itu org yg bijaksana, Nakalnya bersulam jenaka, Budi bahasanya tidak tidak terkira, Kurang ajarnya tetap santun, Jika menipu pun masih bersopan, Bila mengampu bijak beralas tangan..."

"Meski telah memiliki telaga, Tangan masih memegang tali, Sedang org mencapai timba, Berbuah pisang tiga kali, Melayu itu masih bermimpi..."

That was first and sixth phase of the poem named 'MELAYU' by Usman Awang. I don't want to elobarate this poem, just think for yourself the messagge!Ops..don't forget, during the next assembly, you guys better get M16 rifles to replace the 'keris'!

Melayu is it meaning!!! Anyone wants to be angry me? Be my any 'Melayu', you have the right to be angry with me!I don't care, why should I?! I am 'Melayu' too! Long...long time ago, I read one article about 'Melayu'. that article said 'Melayu' itself was weak cause of it itself 'Melayu'. The prove...follow this step, please spell 'Melayu' in bahasa, M.E.L.A.Y.U ! please remove M and E, so...what left?L.A.Y.U...right?Find word 'LAYU' in your dictionanary, it will give you the meaning was wilt ; lose or cause to lose freshness and droop. That's what 'LAYU' means, what about english? Melayu mean Malay in english...for sure! Please do the same step and see what's left...? L.A.Y! My Concise Oxford Dictionary - 10th Edition, 'LAY' mean not ordained into or belonging to the clearly, not having profesional qualification or expert knowledge. Hmm..the meaning of 'layu' and 'lay' was quit same! Next...I'll try to find a new definition of 'Melayu' based on the 'Melayu' current matters and situation by use the meaning 'MeLAYU' and 'MaLAY' as my basic ideas...It's sound difficult but I'll try!Remember the question from 'Ahli Nujum Negara Pasai' to 'Ahli Nujum Pak Belalang'?!

"Di manakah letaknya...kekuatan Hang Tuah? Di kepalanya kah...?! atau dikerisnya kah...?! Jawab Ahli Nujum Pak Belalang "Kekuatan Datuk Laksama Hang Tuah...bukanlah dikerisnya atau di mana-mana, tetapi terletak pada huruf 'T', iaitu menyebabkan namya menjadi T.U.A.H"

How lucky Hang Tuah got a perfect name from his parents. But...remember Hang Tuah is also 'Melayu' same like me, and same like the rest of you who claims that your are 'Melayu' Remember the malay proverb "Nak Seribu Daya, Taknak Seribu Dalih...". Ok..I'll try..

As I am not here to talk merely on how LAYU Melayus’ are, I would prefer to discuss something along the lines of the paragraph I just quoted on Hang Tuah who if without his ‘T’, would have been Hang Buah or Hang Muah, haha! So lets for a second think of what MELAYU would have been if the ‘YU’ in MELAYU was substituted for something else…

The first one is MELAyan. Yes...this very much describes the 'First Class Minded' era and Human Capital idea promoted by the authorities. For more 'kick', I should also elaborate on MELAlak in this paragraph as these two words uniquely draws a picture of MELAYU.. Based on current entertainment scenario, teenagers are encouraged to MELAlak...don't believe? watch tv9 on saturday at 9pm.Before that, watch the same channel at 6.30pm! Are you familiar with this dialogue "Errr...pitching tu penting yerrr, pitching kena jaga...dah nak sedap dah tu, you 'up' lagi pitching you, sure you ada chance untuk menang...percayalah!" For sure, the MELAlak will get 110% support from the MELAyus’. Now, how does MELAyan connects to MELAlak? Obviously it does because the current top ‘MELAlak’ers are voted by SMS by the people who MELAyan! Admit it or not, you and I both know that we MALAyus can spend the whole day watching reality TV making ourselves oblivious to what reality really is…I year 2020, these two MELAlak and MELAlak will grow prosperously like the amount of mud that appeared after flash flood at KL...cant even get it off the roads!! Honestly...I think by 2057, MELAlak will be the top profession choosen by 'Melayu'! We'll see... For any parties joining the next general election, you guys better put the agenda to nurture these two types of 'Melayu' in your manifestoes. For will get plenty of votes and if SPR decides to implement the SMS for the voting...I am VERY SURE that that party will win...110%! On this suggestion, my confident is like Doug Hall (American Inventor) when he said "I put my whole reputation on this invention"

Third...MELAyang! Yes...MELAyang a.k.a Mat Rempit or as some of people call it, Remp-it! These parasite Malayu folks loves to fly on their bikes… again too proud or rather too stupid to realize that bikes are meant to be road on roads not to be flown on above roads…. Duhh. Describing the way MELAyang flies its like watching a Wau Bulan fly at 200ft off the ground while being controlled by 3year old girl, Yes...the Wau Bulan will drop any time...and anywhere! So thats the MELAyang... whom never fails to annoy the public… The most popular activity among the MELAyang community wopuld be illegal racing. Like others, JPJ charge me RM55 per year or 15.06849cents a day and I pay more than thousand to the insurance company for permission to use the road which is declared as road tax. But...unfortunately, I have to share this road with risky is that?! Sometime I think that the recent move to decrease the road tax and increase the insurance is because our roads are getting more risky to use. Back to MELAyang, actually...we have to mention the 6-7 of ex-‘MELAyang’ers who turned a new leaf after being brought to the North Pole for a Winter Camp… they returned to their country as 'Melayu' again! If that so..its great, but what happens to the rest of the 6-7 thousand or maybe 60-70thousand ‘MELAyang’ers still ‘flying’ out there? I feel that what we are doing is "Memberikan pisang pada BERUK di Zoo dan membiarkan BERUK di hutan terus memberuk di situ..." … we should make that into a new proverb!

Forth...MELAntak! In bahasa, MELAntak..means eat like a mad in a single meal, but that was not that what I meant! 'Melayu' the worst case scenario that happens today since 31st August 1957. Still unclear..? MELAntak is something our top notch people who are just never satisfied with their big fat pay check. News claims that our economy is blooming...on top of that, Malaysia's Annual Trade in year 2006 was RM 1,069trillion...amazing! what does it mean actually? Ill get back to you after I finish my MBA. but what I want to point out is this- are we among those 'marhaen' people who got the benefit of that trillion figure? Yes...the government servants got their increment. And that’s all the country is sharing with us! Unfortunately...only 1.2mil people in this country work for the government. How about the remaining 20million citizens and 5-6mil workers at the private sectors and how about the people work 'kais pagi makan pagi, kais petang makan petang..."?Either Aware or not, the growth of those who MELAntak, will pose the country many problems in 5- 1 years to come. In the most feared problem would be the separation of the 'Melayu' itself. The gap between the poor and the rich is enlarging. However, we should also give those who MELAntak a pat on the back for building up foundations and means to help other MELAyu. That's the choosen 'Melayu' (MELAyu who doesn’t really need help but are cronies) and at the same time, MELAntak will excused from tax...thats just nice!

The fifth one is MELAmpau… it shames me to elaborate on this. Take a moment to think about it and I bet you can come up with something to relate to this…its sad to know that so many of us has converted from MELAyu to MELAmpau.. it’s a pity…

Guess these five ‘MELAyu’s illustrates my view well… bet there’s more but lets not go there at the moment. I don’t mean to insult who I also am… like I said … My mother is 'Melayu', My late father was 'Melayu', My brothers are 'Melayu', My Sister is 'Melayu', my sister and brother in law are also 'Melayu' and the all 7 my nephews and nieces are 'melayu' too. I hope we MALAys will try to get a fresh and shiny start like on the 7th of last April somewhere at Pantai Cahaya Bulan when the picture attached was taken…

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